It was the summer of 1984 and I was excited. Not only would I finally hit double digits in age, but my parents, for the first and only time ever rented a cabin at a resort for one whole week. There was even a waterslide that went directly into the lake! (Trust me, in the early ‘80s, this held incredibly high entertainment value.) Yes – I firmly believed the end of 4th grade was going to be the beginning of a monumental summer. Right up until two days after the final school bell rang, I broke my arm. Ironically, this injury occurred when I fell playing the ultimate yard game of summer, tag. I was forced to wear a cast from my fingers to my shoulder. This break would take all summer to heal.
A picture of me at the resort with my full-arm cast reflects my feelings; I look like I’m going to murder whoever dares to capture this horrible memory on film. In fact, you’d be pretty hard pressed to find a picture of me smiling for that entire summer in our family photo album – even on my 10th birthday.
After the initial pain in my arm subsided, it was no longer really my body that needed to heal; it was my mind and spirit. My mind couldn’t fully grasp the fact that I was not able to go into the water and splash around. My spirit was broken. The monumental summer I imagined was lost. However, when I think back now over 40 summers later, that time hurt, but I did heal. I just didn’t have the experience I originally envisioned. The memories of that summer are not about swimming; they’re focused on playing cards with my family and looking for different species of flowers with my mom.
Of course, this wouldn't be the last of my broken arms or other injuries. In fact, I recently had surgery for a partial knee replacement. Running two full marathons on a completely torn meniscus made the pain almost unbearable – the torment of body, mind, and spirit re-emerged. My surgeon assured me that after three months my body would be 90% healed, and a few weeks post-surgery, I began to believe. However, I’m still in the early stages of healing – my mind questions my ability to participate in future marathons, and my spirit yearns for more intense physical athleticism.
Many of us have experienced deep, long-lasting wounds. And not all hurts are physical ones, sometimes the hardest injuries to heal are those of the heart. These hurts can be a loss of a loved one or an ending of a relationship. If we are fortunate in love, we may experience a few in our lifetime. In fact, I’m glad I had a couple heartbreaks before meeting my husband, because once my heart healed, I began to learn more about true love.
I think that is the most important lesson to remember; the hurt may change us in some way, but we’ll never know how until we begin to heal. It hurts, but it’ll heal.
Special Note: I’d like to go back in time and talk to my 10-year-old self. I’d tell her that even though she still had her cast on the first day of 5th grade, she will heal. I’d let her know her smile will serve as her reminder that she can and will do amazing things, and one day she’ll even write about it.
KerryOn Questions
- What hurts have you have experienced in your life?
- How have you healed - body, mind, spirit – the hurt?
- In what ways are you different because of your hurt and healing?
The Kerry behind KerryOn
My name is Kerry K. Fierke, Ed.D. (pron. Fear-Key) I have a unique combination of skills and experience – decades of fast-paced corporate experience in Fortune 100 companies and large health care organizations, combined with the academic rigor of a highly ranked research university. My focus is supporting others to create their own path to leadership development, lifelong learning, and a unique leadership legacy. Take a moment to focus on leadership, then KerryOn!
To see all KerryOn's and other leadership stuff, visit www.kerrykfierke.com.
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